I’ve mainly been feeling numb the last few days. I think the reality of the situation hit me on Monday evening when I returned to the flat for some t’ings to find the living room ceiling had part-way collapsed, with wallpaper haphazardly hanging from the roof and a pile of damp plasterboard rubble on the floor. The insurance people were round yesterday and have declared my side of the building as being totally unfit to live in, and my dad (who’s an architect) thinks it will be next Easter until it’s sorted. So it’s definitely time to look for a new place, a task that I am absolutely shitting myself thinking about. As I mentioned in the last post I’m currently staying at my parents although we’ve already had arguments about silly minor things. One huge problem is that I can be a right sarcy bastard with people I feel comfortable around (or, in this case, feel I should feel comfortable around), but my mum just does not get it and constantly thinks I’m having a go at her. Another massive problem is that my parents are trying to move house right now and have all the stress from that to cope with already. I feel both guilty that I’ve got my parents to help me through this but also angry at myself that I’m not together enough in the head atm to be able to cope with this sort of shit. Anyway..
I was feeling rather sentimental on Tuesday while clearing out the empty alceehol bottles from the top of my kitchen cupboard, resigning all those tokens of Good Times past to the bottle bank of, um, history. My mum refused to allow me to bring my two-legged cat home because he was dirtied by the water that came into the flat, but I gave him a bit of a bath and dropped him off at Beast and Kris’ place to get acquainted with their cat Sprite. I’ve still to locate Jigglypuff and Snorlax, although I’m sure they’ll be in my bedroom somewhere along with everything else.
I feel so tense as well. I had my disciplinary hearing today, now I have to wait for the outcome which should be delivered in the next day or so. It got so bad during the hearing that I’m sure I must was visibly shaking backwards an forwards (worse than the effect of my OCD when I try and sit still and listning to unrhythmic noise). I don’t expect to be able to relax until I’m lying on my bed in my new place of residence. That sounds like a plan.
Sod this, I’m going to bed. Rah.